J-Dawgs To Build Bridge to Wilkinson’s Center
Nov 25th, 2008 | By admin | Category: Featured StoryJ-Dawgs, a local hot spot for students, submitted plans today to build a suspension bridge from their store to the Wilkinson’s Center. Local city planners approved the plans early this morning.
J-Dawgs, started in 1999 by a former BYU student, has been suffering from lack of sales, and increased competition from nearby Hogi Yogi, and a shotty pizza place that no one has ever really gone to.
“I just couldn’t see how we were going to get more students to come to the restauarnt,” said owner Jayson G. Edwards.
“We tried coming up with some kind of transfer portal but we couldn’t figure out how to get it to work. I watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory over and over again for days, but I just couldn’t figure out how to do it.”
In a statment made yesterday by local city councilwoman Michelle Thomas, Provo was proud to approve the plans for the longest suspension bridge in the small town’s history.
“This is a monumental occasion”, said Thomas to a crowd of over 15 students, faculty, congressman and a small child who was eating grass. “We are so proud to have J-Dawgs in our town, and to be a part of the most complex building project in history. It is something Provo is proud to be a part of.”
When asked who was going to plan, design, build and fund the enormously painstaking and expensive project, Edwards stared off into space and finally after more than 20 minutes finally said, “We are the music makers. We are the dreamers of dreams.”
Rachel Sturgis, a senior from BYU majoring in Political Science, said that she loved the idea.
“I hate having to walk from the Wilkinson’s Center to J-Dawgs every day, ” said Sturgis. “I have to walk around sidewalks, avoid people, step over bushes, wait for the cross walk. One time I almost made eye contact with someone and I didn’t know what to do. I just kinda freaked, you know?”
Building for the suspension bridge is scheduled to begin in early February of next year and end sometime in the year 2130, when the technology to create such a bridge actually exists.
