Local Girl Just “Too Darn Tired”
Feb 10th, 2009 | By admin | Category: Provo Resources, Story of the dayAfter over four weeks of looking at pictures on Facebook and eating Cheetos, Lori Rork, a newcomer to the Provo area, told reporters today that she is “just too darn tired to do anything”.
The unemployed 19-year-old resident of Sparks II has spent the last 4 weeks on one of the two couches in her living room apt watching re-runs of Golden Girls and Home Improvement. After waking up around 12-1 PM, Lori rolls out of bed and continues to roll down the stairs to living room couch to sleep some more.
“I can’t just lay in my bed all day,” says Rork. “I need to get up and move around, but it’s just so hard, you know?”
Recent photo of Lori Rork
A native to Georgia, Lori is used to lounging around and waiting for her every whim to be met and fulfilled.
“I remember sleeping for weeks at a time at home,” says Rork. “I remember going to sleep on Christmas Eve and not actually getting up until Valentines Day. That was a good nap.”
Natasha, one of Lori’s roomates was not surprised by the behavior.
“Lori? Who’s Lori?,” said Natasha. “I thought that was just a really puffy blanket.”
Cory Lynne, a local candy maker and resident manager of the apartment complex, was not aware of the behaviour.
“You must be mistaken,” Lynne told reporters. “There are only 5 girls living in that apartment. We don’t even have a Lori living here.”
Despite efforts of local officials, Rork could not be found for further questioning and is reported to be sleeping on the roof of the adjacent complex.
Hmmm. I do find this to be very true. I am not very impressed though. You did not make me sound very good to the public. I assure you that I sleep WAY more than you say. Get your facts straight, please. -The ACTUAL Lori
That’s so interesting because I used to live at sparks 2 and people would tell me the “Lori Story” all of the time, but I thought it was just a myth. In fact, sometimes I had nightmares about it and would wake up at night and look through the window and think that I saw her. Those were bad times. But I just told myself it was just my imagination and I got over it after a while.
I hope I don’t have nightmares now.
I am a resident of the above location. I might have to say that I disagree with The ACTUAL Lori. Lori is typically only seen on the so called couches, in fact she even sleeps there during the night when she is to tired to make it upstairs to her real bed. When I have confronted her about this and told her the importance of sleeping on her bed, she was caught bringing her mattress downstairs where she continued to sleep “in her own bed.” And as for catering to her every whim, I have been a victim of this. On several occasions after coming home from a long day of school and work, she would have me make her dinner and meet any of her other needs.
-Nora Kaine