BYU To Include 1920 Gangster Names On New ID Cards

Apr 7th, 2009 | By Harold | Category: Story of the day, The University

BYU announced today that they will be issuing new ID cards containing “1920 gangster names/aliases” based on physical appearance and heritage.

The University stated that the addition to the new cards would increase security measures and make it easier for teachers to remember students’ names.

Ashley “Flat Jaw” Jacobsen, a sophomore from Little Creek, WY is excited about the news, and hopes that other schools can adopt the changes.

“I think it’s great the school is finally giving students nicknames that ridicule their insignificant and petty physical imperfections that would otherwise go unnoticed,” said Jacobsen.

“It’s easier for me to remember people I meet because I focus on what makes them different and their nickname  usually reflects that.”

BYUSA President Stacy Tueller, a junior from Conneticut, is a staunch supporter for the change and has been pushing University officials to incorporate the nicknames since her Freshman year. 

“Ever since I’ve come to BYU, I have had trouble remembering peoples’ names,” said Tueller.

“So I just started making names up, you know? Like, there was this one guy in my Physical Science class who had a crooked smile, so I just called him ‘Smiley’.  And this other girl in my HEPE class would sniffle a lot, so I called her ‘O’l Snifflers’. It makes things so much easier.”

University officials have made an effort to make sure the nicknames reflect the student, and are not too generic.

“It’s harder than one would think,” said Carrol Burch, head of the new ID card project.

“If two students have a limp, you can’t call them both ‘Captain Ahab’. You have to be more clever than that.”

Burch recalls one instance where two students had an identical scar on the lip. 

“We couldn’t call both of them ‘Lipsy’. So we named one ‘Fat Lips Joey’ and the other ‘Helen the Skel’ton.’

A group of students from the Computer Science department were asked to be on the naming comittee, due to their superhuman creative abilities and superior people skills.

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  1. P8MZt9 Good point. I hadn’t thought about it quite that way. :)

  2. LA2PEi dttvnfnntzgj

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