“Cloak Boy” Returns to Year 3013
Nov 14th, 2009 | By admin | Category: Breaking News, LocalPROVO – Provo’s recent singing sensation/controversy “Cloak Boy” made an announcement yesterday from the top of the Tanner building that he will finally return to to the year 3013 after 2o years of warning the world of pending destruction through his incessant singing and various “antics”.
“I have finished my sojourn here on your pathetic planet and it is time for me to return to my home planet,” said Cloak Boy (known on his home planet as “Ghuup Gokthez”) as he hovered 20 feet above the roof of the Tanner building on BYU campus, eyes ablaze and surrounded by light and various bird shaped creatures.
“My mission has been a failure, but so be it. You will learn the error of your ways after the first plague of Narcimina in the year 2260.”
Cloak Boy was first discovered by police singing incoherently during breaks between classes on the Brigham Young University Campus. Students payed little attention to Ghup, but on occasion students could be seen listening to him and then suddenly disappear in a burst of light.
University police repeatedly attempted to arrest Cloak Boy, but were foiled as the visitor from the future repeatedly seemed to materialize into thin air and reappear on other part of campus. According to police, the mysterious visitor would sometimes transform into small rodents or bugs and evade police by crawling into bushes.
“No matter what we tried, we could never catch him,” said Universitay policeman Greg Barratt. “He would sing and sing and then when we tried to catch it, it would just disappear. We have set apart an entire squad dedicated with the sole purpose of catching Mr. Gokthez.”
According to campus officials, Cloak Boy is neither registered for, or ever attended Brigham Young University.
“We do not know how he got here, and we sure as heck don’t know why he’s still here,” said Jillian Guertz, campus advisor and fellow balloon animal maker.
“We have done everything we can to get rid of him, but he just seems to stick around – like my Grandma.”
After Ghup’s announcement from the top of the Tanner building, the sunny sky above transformed into a ferocious thunderstorm and he was seen taken up into the sky on what seemed to be a gigantic eagle.
I know him and I hope that he doesn’t see this because that could be pretty hurtful. He was in my Mission prep class and he seems like a nice guy.