Provo City Mayor, Lewis K. Billings, released a statement early this morning nominating himself “King of Utah”. The nomination came as a surprise to the Utah legislature, which was completely dissolved upon Billings nomination.

Provo City Police Chief Craig Geslison announced yesterday morning that the local Sword and Quill Club, known for its highly controversial and sometimes questionable crowd control tactics, will permanently replace the Provo City Police Department, due in part to massive Provo City budget cuts.

J-Dawgs, a local hot dog restaurant, submitted plans today to build a bridge to span to the Wilkinson’s Center food court.